i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
