the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
