Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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