Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
