do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nutella sex= disaster
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I want a musical about memes.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
