ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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