I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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