Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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