so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
