You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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