Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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