I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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