PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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