maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
