I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
