Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
