porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize