my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize