Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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