I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
