AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
