did you get engaged???
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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