Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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