mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
