Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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