i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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