so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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