Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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