what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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