Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
