oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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