Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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