Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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