Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
