not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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