I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
