Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
