wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
