she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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