Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
