is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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