Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
