grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just found puke in my bra..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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