Buhtt sex?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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