I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
