just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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