I just saw a hot homeless man
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
