why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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