Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize