i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
