he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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