Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
