I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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