i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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