when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
