i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
MIDGETS
????
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
