When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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