so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
