I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
