I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
