You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
