You just made me feel so damn special
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
